#Discerning what your #calling is

When my wife was doing her theological degree the college she was at - St Mellitus - used to organise a daytime event for spouses to share their experiences and get a bit of input. 

I went on one of these and it was interesting to see the different approaches spouses took to their other halves doing vicar training - and to think about the pros and cons of each approach -below is a summary of the types.

1) Clergy couples - By that I mean one was already a Rev and the other was training to be one.

Pros - better understanding and support of each other

Cons - competition between and lack of a different perspective

2) Its a joint calling - The other half to the Rev saw themselves being jointly called with their spouse - to be active in what they would eventually go on to do (but without the theological degree or the licensing as a Rev)

Pros - supportive and collabortive

Cons - confusion over the difference between their callings and hierarchy issues

3) Its his/her thing and I'll support them - Typically the other half is happy their spouse has been called to become a Rev - and is happy to support generally - but doesn't see it as a joint calling to serve God and the church.

Pros - supportive but also able to have some distance

Cons - maybe not bought into some of the sacrifices the Rev will be making

4) Nothing to do with me - there was one person I ran into where their partner wasn't a christian and so therefore wasn't "signed up" to the whole endeavour  - at a spiritual level at least

Pros - a truly different pespective

Cons - strain on the relationship

I see myself as fitting into the 3) category above.  Of course the college days are long gone and my wife is now in her first year of being a curate.  So far what I've found is that there is little support for the other halves of clergy - at least from the diocese and the bishop and archdeacon areas under it - except for an annual invite to a bash at the big bishops house.

The diocese set up does have a clergy spouse support organisation - but that is geared towards clergy wives not clergy husbands.

And I'm not entirely certain what sort of support I need - or could be helped with anyway.  My gut tells me that it would be useful to meet with others and swop experiences to get an idea of how others approach the role.

And in a way this is why I started writing this weekly blog - to share my experiences with others - in a way that might now and then be helpful.