Advice is best given when it is asked for

How do you wind down from work?

Some people exercise.  

Some have a couple of drinks before going home.

Some read a book or listen to music or watch a movie.

Some chat with their partner about what has gone on at work.

When I need to wind down after work I use the last approach.  My wife would mostly listen and interject a few questions now and then - in the style of "Why do you think they said that?" or "Why did that make you angry? "

And when my wife needs to wind down after a hard day as a vicar she'll often chat with me about what has gone on.  I try and listen and interject a few questions now and then.  But what I find harder to do is to limit myself to that and intelligent questioning to help her suss out what has gone on - and her reactions to it.

Mainly I find it difficult to not give advice because part of my usual behaviour is to try and fix things.

But in my heart of hearts I know that giving specific advice is rarely a good idea because:

a) a person with a problem needs to understand their own and others reactions to it;

... and often just needs to talk it through to get a perspective;

... and almost always needs to own the actions they decide to take on it;

- vicaring isn't like a business

... partly because so much of the "workforce" are volunteers;

... partly because there is so little supervision once you're a Rev;

... partly because there is an explicit embrace of both physical and spiritual realities;

So I try to remember that when the wife wants to talk about work - sometimes it works - sometimes it doesn't!