Pitch ideas and comments to your wife not the church process

If you're married to a Rev and your a christian who wants to help at your local church,(assuming your partner is the Rev there), then at some point you're going to have to think about what you get involved in and how much.

For example, I think that getting involved in the PCC would, on balance, cause my Rev wife more problems than would be helpful.  I say this because it seems to me you'd quickly run into issues like - "Is he talking for himself or expressing a view they both share?", let alone what happens when you disagree in a PCC on an action to be taken.

Plus I think it would mean you were more likely - as a couple - to talk about her work at home over meals - when in fact exactly the opposite is needed to provide a break.

Now I'm sure other couples will take a different view on this issue.  And as long as they discuss it and think through the consequences before committing to certain positions then that seems reasonable to me.

For myself I'm happy helping by being on various rotas (what would the CofE do without rotas?).   And I've decided that if I have a comment on something that is going on in church I'll comment to my wife not to the individuals concerned.  I take that approach for two reasons:

1) My wife as the Rev is better placed to decide whether its an issue that is important or not;

2) I think its better for me to be in a neutral position as concerns the various powers, factions, tribes or camps that are usually present in any church (and indeed in any community).

I think there is also a judgement call to be made in whether you make a comment to your Rev wife at all.  The issue maybe really important to you but is it really something the Rev needs to be dealing with?