Sunday, February 25, 2018

No need for you to do house maintenance - theoretically

When I moved with my other half to the market town she has her curacy at she got a curates house provided as part of the job.

This is a pretty good perk when you consider how much more one of us would need to earn pre-tax to afford the £1400 or so rent on the curates house - (a detached 1980/90's ish building with 3 bedrooms.)_

As it happens the parish - rather than the diocese - owns the curates house and so are responsible for its maintenance.

And they've been very good at that.  I think the previous curates husband was a good DIYer - so fixed quite a lot of stuff himself for the parish.  I'm not any good at DIY so once the parish knew that  - they have got tradespeople in promptly to fix things as and when necessary.

Chatting with some other husbands of Revs I gather once your other half gets her 1st vicar job the Diocese people can be quite slow on fixing things that aren't essential.  So for example - one story I heard about the diocese is that they got somebody in within a week to fix a water heating problem.  Inconvenient  - going a couple a week without hot water but manageable. 

However when asked to fix a bathroom door without a lock they were much slower - as in they still haven't fixed it 18 months later.  Obviously a lack of a bathroom lock isn't an urgent thing - but for a family with teenage daughters it is something that the teenagers won't like.

So I've been getting some advice on what to do when your other half gets their 1st vicar job.  Apparently the important thing to do is to do a walk round with the Diocese property people and somebody like an Archdeacon to list any defects that need sorting - and then to confirm that list to both individuals and whoever you report to.

This approach may not get the defects fixed - but at least it will document what needs sorting.  And if you can afford it you'll need to be prepared to fix (or pay to get somebody to fix) defects that the diocese are unlikely to be in a hurry to address.

Sunday, February 18, 2018

sermon bingo

If you Rev wife preaches at several churches you may often find yourself attending your local church whilst she plays away somewhere else.

And that means that you'll often get to see her colleagues lead a service and/or preach a sermon.

Which is where things can start to get tricky. 
You see its terribly difficult not to compare how your Rev wife's colleagues preside and preach with how your wife does.

To take your mind off such comparisons - during the sermon in particular - I humbly submit to you a form of church sermon bingo.  In this you're listening for certain key phrases or themes.

When you hear a phrase /theme from my "Sermon Bingo Phrase/Theme List" below then award the preacher a point.  You will have to use your judgement as to whether the phrase/theme is near enough to warrant the award of a point - but I encourage you to exercise flexibility on this.

Using this simple scoring system you can - over time - rate various preachers in terms of how many of the sermon bingo phrases they utter in one sermon or over a month of sermons.















Sunday, February 11, 2018

#Social & #Digital Media & #Communications and the #church - 10 lessons from 7 years

For the last 7 years or so I have helped various churches with their webpage and social media accounts.

And during her current curacy I've helped my wife's church set up a facebook page and twitter account.

Given those experiences I'd say there are a number of lessons I've learnt.


The language I use in the 10 lessons below is mostly in negative rather than positive language.  This simply reflects my experience  - and of course perceptions of that also - over the last 7 years.  (I'm hoping the next 7 years experience will be more positive). 


The slides I have inserted below are from a presentation by @AdrianHarris (Head of Digital Communications - The Church of England) on Digital Evangelism given to the February 2018 General Synod.

I'm also hoping that in using such language it will help others be realistic about the challenges of helping churches adopt social media and digital communications.  Indeed I hope that by describing some of the pitfalls they'll be forewarned about the obstacles you might face.

1) If church leaders don't want to improve their digital presence they probably won't - even after a presentation you might give on the tremendous reach of social media via smartphones. Indeed I've often found that in a church the major opponents to taking a church into digital media don't use social media  - and bring with them popular misconceptions about its dangers.






2) If church leaders pay little attention to communications then that won't suddenly change -  even if they agree to you setting up some social media accounts for them.  Indeed I've often found that church leaders can't clearly state what audiences they are trying to reach with what messages via what channels - because they just don't prioritise thinking about communications that way.







3) Often you'll only find out about an event coming up when the publicity comes out - not before.  Indeed I've found that even then you have to chase the source of the publicity for pictures or text to use in digital media.  Often this indicates a lack of planning ahead and/or the absence of a "diary" that logs all planned future events - in such cases the weekly notices in effect become the only place things are brought together.

4) If event organisers don't usually nominate somebody to take photos at their events - then they still won't.  Indeed I've often found that the organisers seem to think photo taking is what digital communicators are there to do - even if the event isn't something they'd usually go to.

5) Its really important you get absolute clarity about what permissions are required before pictures of children or adults can be used - but you'll often find it difficult to get that clarityIndeed I've found - in the CofE - that the rules within a Diocese can contradict themselves and that different Diocese have different rules.  Often I'll revert to taking pictures of things not people to avoid the whole issue.

6) People who don't "get" digital media will often refer to the digital using pejorative terms like "virtual" or "unreal". Indeed they will characterise what people do in the digital as not serious, playing around, wasting time or not paying attention.  Thus if I take notes during a sermon on paper I'm serious whereas if I do the same on a smartphone I'm distracted.  That's why I prefer language like physical or digital.

7) You'll need to be self-motivated if you want to help the church embrace the digital  - don't assume your time and efforts will be understood or recognised. 

8) People who like planning ahead will and those who don't won't - neither is always the right or wrong approach. Indeed you may need to gently point this out to people who aren't self aware enough to realise they default to describing their preferred approach as always right.

9) Some of you will be comfortable organising digital communications with little preparation time - and some of you won't.  Know what your preferred approach is.  Say no firmly but respectfully to leaders who try to get you to do something you're not comfortable doing.  But in doing so do explain why you can't help them using language about your abilities and skills rather than using language about their approach to planning or spontaneity.

10) From the start work on offering volunteers opportunities to help your digital communications in time limited, flexible, small bite sized pieces.  Indeed with a bit of thought you can often ID events that allow a volunteer to draft some communications on a quarterly basis.


Sunday, February 4, 2018

Where to get #advice as a Rev's husband - any suggestions or topics?


One of the reasons I started thisblog was because when I searched the internet for advice on being a Rev's husband I didn't find a lot.

I did discover that using the words clergy, spouse and husband in a google search brings up an interesting array of articles about clergy straying from the straight and narrow with someone else's husband or wife.


So over the last 9 months or so I've tried to blog on my experiences as a Rev's husband in what I hope is a useful way. I've covered topics like moving house, what the diocese pays for, living in tied housing, deciding how much to get involved in your wife's church, advice in books, her day off, choosing shoes (no really!) , losing the weekend, your own spiritual development, answering the phone and going to church together.

If you've got some suggestions on topics you'd like me to cover do please let me know via a comment